Causing to Stumble

Just a quick note.  I have decided to remove the victim statements, police report and witness statement from the live page. I choose to do this in effort to allow the Third-Party investigation to take place efficiently. All statements have already been turned in to the appropriate people. We appreciate all the love and support and look forward to working with the Third-Party investigators in this matter.

You can read the districts response to the Sexual Assault allegations by clicking below. 

Click Here to Read the Districts Response 

Matthew 18:6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

NOTE: This is a very long and detailed BLOG, including multiple statements, reports and messages. Please read in its entirety and click the links provided to take you to the separate statements and proofs. 

How I was groomed as a ploy for my own daughter’s assault.

            What began as a summer of enjoyment for our family quickly escalated into not one but two sexual assaults on my own daughter. We went into the summer so excited; she had a job that she absolutely loved, was graduating high school, and most notably she was beginning to trust again and allow us to leave her alone places. She trusted her circle at camp and even often referred to her perpetrator as her big brother. We were excited as well for this, she seemed to finally find her “circle”. We trusted it as well so looking back now when I see that Josh groomed me as well, I am hurt and angry. My daughter has extensive trauma from her pre-adoptive life. She was a victim of unimaginable things that shaped her trust and attachment to others.

            Before I go any further, I have researched and spoken to legal counsel, don’t come at me sideways. EVERYTHING I am posting is public record and able to be attained with a FOIA.  My daughter was a MINOR, and he was a married 26-year-old ADULT. I also sent his mother a text message asking if we could speak on July 5th, 2023, it was read and not responded to.  I wanted to advise her that there was more that came out. I wanted to be 100% transparent. Further, I sent his wife a message on July 10th, 2023, to update her, but she declined in the most gracious way. I 100% understand, she was trying to heal herself, her heart couldn’t handle any more. Josh’s mother-in-law in fact came to our camper the morning after and I allowed her to read through all of the text messages between Josh and my daughter. I have been 100% transparent in all things around what happened.

Disclosure: I have ZERO intent to threaten, harm or intimidate him or his family. My intent is for our daughter to get her voice back about what happened to HER.

I simply refuse to remain silent so that they can remain comfortable and continue to move through life like this did not happen to my daughter TWICE.

            Josh Loudermilk spent countless hours at our site and in the park speaking with both my husband and me about “what makes her tick”. He made it seem like he was generally just trying to get to know her in a brotherly way. In doing this I did tell him of “some” of her trauma and how it relates to how she responds to things. Again, we trusted his motive, so we thought nothing of it when he was asking. It could have been construed as someone who just generally cared for her and wanted to be someone she could count on. We thought this was great that he cared that much for her because let’s face it she was just beginning to trust her “circle” as well. I even went as far as to text his mother on May 29th, 2023 to tell her how much I have enjoyed getting to know him and how he has friended our daughter and become a great friend to her. Again, he groomed me into trusting him, he was a married man, to a beautiful, caring, and kind wife, had a very influential family. In fact, a family that has planted two churches in Genesee County.  LITTLE DID I KNOW HE WAS ALREADY GROOMING OUR DAUGHTER BEGINNING ON MAY 9TH 2023. In a matter of a month, he took my now trusting daughter who was a victim of unimaginable things, got her to trust him, rely on him then he sexually assaulted her twice in her own circle of trust. Once in the gym directly across from the home he and his beautiful wife shared and once in the very place that should be the safest for anyone, the nursery in the Tabernacle.

            Looking back now I see it all and shame on me for not recognizing it then. I do this for a living, I help put predators and pedophiles away. He knew this as well. In fact, I recall one very specific conversation where he asked me what happened to her “perpetrators”. I responded, “Nothing she wasn’t ready to testify, and they were family members and friends”.  She was removed and put into foster care with us for it. I LITERALLY HANDED HIM MY DAUGHTER ON A SILVER PLATTER. I even told him that she did the forensic interviewing and although she was truthful, she wouldn’t testify……. WHAT WAS I THINKING…… I AM PHYSICALLY SICK EVEN TYPING THIS. I train parents to NOT do exactly what I just did. This could only mean one thing, right? HE IS REALLY GOOD AT WHAT HE DID, this led my daughter and I to there could be more victims. With this, we decided together to go public with what happened. First to let her heal and take her power back in this situation and two to let potential other victims know they are NOT alone.

JOHN 8:32 ~Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

THE TRUTH SIMPLY HAS NO SIDES

Here is OUR Truth.

Looking back, it is plain as day now what began as “friendly sibling” banter back and forth ended in the sexual assault twice of my minor daughter. It began in May with playful banter, emojis, and HIS need for her to engage directly with him. Sadly, we trusted Josh so much that we never felt the need to check up on their conversations. In fact, I was in UTTER shock after the assault when I went into investigative mode and figured it out. Right after the assault he was a missing person and that was filed with the Livingston County Sheriff Department.  So, I am going to do my best to put this out in a way that is easiest to read and understand. To do this it is best to just start where the grooming and first assault came into play and then me as mom going through the text messages. It took a bit to figure it all out, but now that we have. We didn’t find out about the FIRST sexual assault until recently, this being after the Second Assault.  I take 100% responsibility for not seeing the text prior to and/or putting it together, however, Josh groomed me as well and my family trusted him 100%, so I never felt the need to look into the banter back and forth.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

There was a group chat with all the employees of the campground, he would often pull her out of this group chat to engage in private conversation with her. Although, having the group chat is 100% appropriate for the employees of camp, as a great way to communicate quickly and efficiently, what wasn’t banked on by anyone including myself is that they had a pedophile in that chat that was preying on my child.

On Sunday, June 25th, our daughter did not feel like Josh’s motives were pure, in fact, she spoke to her best friend Joe about it and let him know that she felt uncomfortable. Her gut instinct was working but she still wanted to believe in the best. Again, she really thought of him as an older brother figure. I am giving her voice back to her in this.

Scroll through the pictures to read the text messages he as a 26-YEAR-OLD MARRIED man sent a minor. the sexual innuendos, pictures, comments, EMOJI speak for themselves.

Fast forward on June 29th, 2023, we were sitting at our camper, a fellow employee came to the camper and got my husband. I didn’t think anything of this, it happened often when they needed an extra hand. He got on the golf cart and left with her, and not long after she came back for me. I was at that point alarmed and got on the cart and she said, “She wanted to talk to her dad first”. Knowing now what happened to her and what I do I get that, I got on the cart, and we went to the playground. I saw my daughter rocking, curled up with her arms around her legs, and having a physical panic attack and sobbing. My husband looked at me knowing I was about to blow my top and said, “hear her out before you go find him”. I said what happened, she replied “Josh kissed me”. I said what do you mean kissed you she replied, “He walked into the nursery and kissed me”. I asked her did you ask him to kiss you, she replied “no”. I asked the other staff member where he was at and she replied, “he said he was going to tell his wife”, I left my daughter with her dad and the other staff member and needed a moment to get my emotions under control before, one of two things happened, I went and physically found him myself and/or my husband did. My thought process at that time was first “NO WAY this just happened”, then the second “I’m going to………….” Let’s not go there. My husband and the other staff member got her back to the camper where she continued to have severe panic attacks for hours.

I then called the Director of camp, who was off site that day, he immediately left where he was and came back. He arrived back at camp, and we met him in the district office with our daughter to explain what happened. We also immediately called Child Protective Services to report the assault.

During this time, we noticed his wife driving around camp asking if anyone had seen him. A mass hysteria was evoked at camp as he was now a missing person, he never went to his wife as he said, and he fled the scene. At this point we only knew he kissed her “this one time”, not of the text or the first assault, so we were just as concerned for his safety as we were for our daughter. I then enacted a search and rescue at camp with other staff members that lasted into the evening. I can honestly say that this was a search for someone who I knew assaulted my daughter, this was hard to set aside. But seeing the look on his wife’s face driving around looking for him and the rest of his family….. They didn’t deserve this, none of them did. His wife then called the Livingston County Sheriff’s Department and filed a missing person report on him. It is now known that he fled on foot and somehow ended up at his parents’ home, but he was missing for over 24 hours. Even with this, I was willing to hear him out and in fact was hoping to understand, yet again I did not know about the first assault and/or the text messaging until later that evening. During this time, we did NOT tell his wife or family of what happened. It wasn’t the time or place for that; however, she did end up having to know as the search went into the night. I then had conversations with his wife during this time telling her exactly what I knew as well. I can honestly say that his wife is the most beautiful soul, she is gracious and caring in fact, promised to protect our daughter because she had a fear of retaliation from his family. She in no way placed any blame on our daughter in fact agreed her husband was in the wrong, even admitting that he has had some prior issues. I do not know if she feels this way today as she did remain with him.

Praise God Josh was found on the 30th at his parent’s house, I was notified by his wife that he was safe and that he was being 100% honest and taking responsibility for what he did to our daughter. My experience with law enforcement kicked in and I began thinking, INNOCENT PEOPLE DON’T RUN, I even made the comment to my husband and camp director that if he ditches his phone, we know he did it maliciously. Because most perpetrators know the first thing law enforcement does is snag the Perp’s phone, I made sure to have every single text and phone call documented prior to meeting with Josh so that I could get a firm understanding of what happened. What Josh did not bank on is that we use Gabb wireless, and everything is easily accessible with a couple of clicks. He may have “lost” his phone, but I still had 100% access to my daughters. She never deleted any of the messages, it was an open book, she wasn’t hiding anything.

I spent the remainder of the night going through text messages and her call logs to put together what took place. I was in shock, absolutely in shock and disbelief. During this time of combing through it, I knew more happened than what we were told by our daughter. Call it mothers’ instinct and the fact that a text stood out to everyone who read it including the Camp director. He quickly pointed out “Something happened here” I should have pushed harder, in fact, a lot harder because there was more that came out later. In hindsight we knew it, our daughter never uses the word “I’m Shook”, in fact it was a first for me seeing it in this text. We will explain more on this in a bit. WHEN AN ADULT TELLS A MINOR TO KEEP MESSAGES ON THE “DL” (downlow). That is a HUGE red flag……

This is the message that he sent our minor daughter after the first “kiss”.

  • J: Make sure you keep your message thread on the DL (Innocent people don’t ask minors to hide conversations)
  • J: But wow??(Did you enjoy kissing my minor daughter?)
  • T: Thumbs up emoji (unsure how to respond, he continued to push)
  • J: Thats it? sorry you are disappointed. (meaning she did not respond like he wanted)
  • T: Bro what you want me to say I’m shook (This was her telling him she isn’t comfortable)
  • J: I’m sorry (He apologized for it)
  • T: Nah your good (she was in shock and didn’t know how to respond, she was alone at camp and afraid you would come back)
  • J: Sure are you sure (THIS PROVES YOU KNEW SHE WAS NOT OKAY)
  • T: I think so I just gotta think (Again, she was processing what happened,)

I received a message from his mother on July 1st at 3:24 PM stating that his father and Josh were en-route back to camp and wanted to meet with us to discuss what took place.  I advised her that the Director offered us the district office to use for this and I asked that she understand that our daughter would not be in or around this meeting. She agreed on this. (texts below)

At first, she was very gracious and willing to meet us where we needed even given the tough position, she was in knowing her son assaulted our daughter. She appeared apologetic for his actions and showed genuine concern for our daughter. I did appreciate that very much as I always admired and had great respect for her and her work with Children’s ministry. Through all this I have learned a very different side to her and her family. Alot came to light after the “dust settled and her son was found” In fact, once word started slowly getting out of what “may or may not have happened”, it appears she then went into what I would call “Cover up mode”

Now she is calling my daughter a liar and stating that nothing happened, and we are slandering her son. She has even Victim Shamed my daughter to members of her church and the board she sits on and also allowed her other son and family friends to do the same. I have heard from multiple people that they were told by her or her other son that my daughter threw herself at him. FIRST that is a lie, SECOND, we have proof, and THIRD let me guess the other victims coming forward threw themselves at him as well. There is ONE common denominator and pattern in each story and that is HER SON, and HIS BROTHER. Her text speaks for itself, the truth has no sides.

  1. JOSH was a missing person, HE RAN AWAY 
  2. JOSH kissed my daughter TWICE without consent, SHE IS A MINOR
  3. JOSH is married, (Exodus 20:14)
  4. JOSH was inappropriately texting a MINOR. 
  5. JOSH disposed of his phone.
  6. Another staff member stopped him DURING THE SECOND ASSAULT.
  7. HE ALREADY ADMITTED HE DID IT AND SO MANY OTHER THINGS, AND WAS FIRED FOR IT. 

 Why exactly are you “incredibly sorry this happened”? then, if like you’re telling everyone “Nothing Happened” and he is in fact innocent AND that my daughter who by the way is 4’11 and barely 100 lbs. threw herself at him! What exactly were you sorry about then? Guess what he isn’t innocent, and others are coming forward. What I have come to discover is this has been a long-standing tradition of continual covering up for him and his sexual immorality.  This truly breaks my heart. 

I always considered you a SHEEP, I am deeply hurt to find out that you’re in fact a WOLF.  I was very sad that she was happy to help until her reputation started to get tarnished.

Matthew: 7:15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

Anyways, I received a call from Josh on his father’s phone that they were in route to camp, he left me a voice mail with his ETA and willingness to meet us, because I wanted that documented that he agreed in case it went bad. He arrived at the district office, and I was alerted he was there by the Camp Director.  My husband and I got our children settled and got Joe there to help assist with them. The camp director, myself, and my husband were present during this meeting. When we walked in Josh immediately began crying and saying, “I am so so so sorry”. I responded. “Sorry, it happened or that you got caught”. He responded to that “Both”.  I then asked Josh “What would you have done had the staff member not walked in”, Josh responded, “Probably finished what I started”.  I explained to Josh, that our daughter’s trauma assessment states that in cases of fight or flight, her trauma response is listed as “Freeze then comply”. I explained to him that due to this, her response to him was purely to comply because, in her history of being raped, it is easier than to fight. I also reminded him that he knew this because he and I had conversations about it previously. He responded with “I know and I’m so sorry”. I asked him “What made you choose our daughter knowing what I do for a living”, he responded without ANY reservation “I guess THE THRILL AND CHASE”. I explained to him that this statement alone made him a child predator.  I then asked Josh about the texting, he attempted to deny this at first then I pulled out our daughter’s personal phone, and he then said, “Your right I was wrong”. I asked him if he understood that he was grooming her from May 9th, 2023, until the day of the assault. He claimed he was not intentional, he said “It started playfully then I went too far”. I reminded him of the text that she responded with “I am shook”, I explained that should have given him a clue that he had gone too far. Side note on this part, at this time I did not know that this was the day of the first assault, it was no wonder he gave me a deer-in-the-headlights look. He said, “Now looking back your right”. I want to say the most concerning and most alarming thing that Josh said during this meeting was when I stated, “Josh this isn’t the first time you have done this your too subtle and very good at it”, he responded “What, having flirtatious text?”, I responded “with minors”, he responded “your right”.

He again stated how sorry he was and that he would accept any repercussions that came his way from it because he knew it was wrong. He asked me what he could do to make it better for our daughter and I told him that he is not to be near her at any time and/or contact her at any time. I further explained that during this day he made her rely on him by turning the lights on and off while she was working and leaving her in the dark then being there when she turned it back on and also taking her speaker and moving it etc. It was definitely the thrill and chase for him. I reminded him that the fact that he watched the other two gentlemen leave the tabernacle, knowing they were coming to me for first aid, and then choosing to assault my daughter showed his intent. At this point in the meeting, we expressed to Josh that he would be prayed for. We ended the meeting in prayer and my husband, and I left. I will say I said a few colorful words in this meeting that I am not proud of. But given the fact he walked out on his own two feet after the comments he made, I would say that both my husband and I maintained ourselves. I pray to GOD, that Josh was honest with his family over this meeting. I was very transparent with his In-laws regarding it because I was very concerned for their daughter. Last note on that most uncomfortable meeting, I DARE YOU JOSH TO SAY THIS DIDNT HAPPEN, did you happen to see my extra work phone on the table, it “could” have been recording the whole conversation. Before your mom jumps to defend that I also told you that “we were documenting this whole conversation and you said you understood”.

  It is no secret that Josh, violated the safety policy in place at camp, they did the mandatory ministry safety training, in fact had all the proper precautions in place to prevent this. As expected, he was immediately discharged from his employment at camp, and he agreed to not return to the campground. This made my daughter feel safer, but it also made her feel guilty also, because his wife did not deserve to be uprooted from her home. 

This is our truth……………………..The Truth has ZERO sides and yet he is still walking around enjoying his life as if nothing ever happened. He attends his family church which I respect, everyone needs Jesus. But he is often even in contact with minor children.

  • What precautions have been put into place to prevent him from being inappropriate with other minors?
  • What help is he getting to deal with his predatory behavior?
  • What consequences will he face for ASSAULTING MY DAUGHTER not once but TWICE?

From what I can see NOTHING has changed at all and to be honest, it scares the crap out of me. The possibility that he could be grooming more minors, and knowing how good he is at doing it keeps me awake at night. His family is actually hiding what took place and victim shaming my daughter. 

YOU CAN NOT COVER UP THE TRUTH LOUDERMILK’S, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HECK…… YOU DO KNOW THAT LYING IS SIN, YOU DO KNOW THAT GOD ALREADY KNOWS WHAT YOUR SON AND BROTHER AND HUSBAND DID, YOU ALSO KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE JUDGED ON YOUR ACTIONS ONE DAY. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

Meanwhile, my daughter’s life will never be the same, AGAIN! Josh your life has continued but this is what YOU have now made my daughter’s life, AGAIN!

  • She refuses to go anywhere in public that YOU are not BANNED.
  • She almost refused to walk with her class for Graduation because of fear YOU might go because she had previously invited you, her brother.
  • She has panic attacks if she is made to go places outside of HER home.
  • She trusts no one again, not even us for the most part, she has busted her butt since 2017 to get to the point that YOU STOLE FROM HER.
  • She has had to put future plans of military and college on hold because YOU have been so GRACIOUS to give her the PTSD back.

Law enforcement cannot do anything about it because of her age, she was 16 when the grooming started but 17 at the time of both assaults. So, we would put her through years of testimony, trials, and torture for what, him to plea it down to something as simple as lewd conduct or less. His family has money and could have kept this going for a long while. His life would continue during this time, my daughters would be standing still.

I keep hearing “It was JUST a KISS”. To some that may be fact but to me, my MINOR daughter has never been kissed by a man willingly and/or with consent. The ONLY reason it was stopped at “just a kiss” is because BY THE GRACE OF GOD ANOTHER EMPLOYEE WALKED IN stopping him. Josh admitted he would of “finished what he started” had the other staff member not walked in. IN FACT, he didn’t finish what he started in the first assault and AFTER being told she was uncomfortable, came back a second time to finish what he started just 24 hours prior. 

Every sexual contact she has had was due to force with ZERO consent. I ask you if this was your daughter, niece, granddaughter what would you feel and/or do?

 It was so much more than a kiss; he assaulted our daughter.

SHE TOLD YOU SHE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE AFTER THE FIRST “KISS” IN THE GYM, YOU APOLOGIZED FOR IT. YOU DID IT AGAIN AFTER THIS.   THAT ALONE PROVES THE SECOND KISS,

  1.  Was preparatory.
  2.  Was grooming.
  3.  Was NOT accidental.
  4.  Was NOT consented to.
  5.  Was Adultery/Cheating on his wife.

With all this being said what that means is that he is a cheater and a pedophile, that groomed both myself and my daughter to gain her trust and confidence. He learned how she quoted “ticks”, he did it deliberately and began grooming her via text messaging based on what I TOLD HIM she responded to. The fact that she was of the age of consent. I hate our age of consent and the Romeo and Juliet laws.  REGARDLESS SHE DID NOT CONSENT……………. The law has a lot of gray areas here.

Putting aside the question of whether a 16-year-old is mature enough to make informed decisions regarding sexual activity, it is technically legal for a person this age to have consensual sexual relations, which she did NOT give IN FACT TOLD HIM SHE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE AFTER THE FIRST ASSAULT. However, there are many circumstances where sexual contact with a 16/17-year-old would be against the law.

  • Under the influence (nope)
  • Force or coercion (absolutely this case)
  • Close family relationship (absolutely this case)
  • Position of power or trust (absolutely this case)
  • Paying for sex (nope-ish), although he did many times allude to buying her slushies if she were nice to him.

So, Mr. Loudermilk, you have gained 3 of the 5 factors for sexual misconduct. In this case, the gray area of the law may have saved you from legal charges in the court of law. But this will not save you when you are brought before HIM. HE does not take lightly to those who hurt HIS children. I pray for you often, I pray for your wife, I pray that you are getting the help you need to not continue this cycle, I pray for your family who you have embarrassed and discredited due to your acts, and most of all I pray for the other victims that have not had the courage like my daughter to come forward against you.

Lastly, I want to commend and thank the camp director and District Superintendent who has offered prayer and love to our family. I have ZERO grievances with them, they handled this from the start with compassion, dignity, and respect. They put my daughter’s needs first and her safety, which was and is greatly appreciated. They offered to pay for therapy for her or us. They did not even entertain a “cover-up” due to the Loudermilk’s family name. In fact, I was very impressed that the director was so trauma informed as to my daughter’s reactions to this trauma. He has been instrumental in her healing. We have a long way to go to get our daughter back to the fun-loving, goofy, and trusting person she was prior to these two assaults. But I know that with GOD and PRAYER, she can and will be productive again. I am in absolute awe of her daily and I am in awe of her strength and courage in this.

“When you help a child, it helps but when you help a child leading her to Christ it heals.”

CHRIST PLACED HER WITH US IN 2017 AND HE BEGAN TO RESHAPE HER INTO AN OBEDIENT SERVANT OF HIM, THIS WILL NOT DEFINE HER ANY LONGER AND SHE WILL BECOME THAT AGAIN.

 

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